Live a Lie
by Karides
Summary: Roki Saarunga is a normal shinigami student who is nothing but average, secretly envying and despising all her other high-flying classmates. However, when a certain young man rudely jolted her out of her own self-contained world, her whole life turned into a roller-coaster ride of painful truths and comforting lies. OC. DarkFic. Violence. Oneshot
1. Live a Lie

**Live A lie **

"To deceive others, you must first deceive yourself"

~ Anonymous

Nobody ever knew how Roki Saarunga truly looked like.

Not now in the present and never will in the future, but sometime ago in the distant past someone might have caught the face of the real Roki Saarunga, only to forget all about it in a mere instant. Back then in her fledgling academy days, Roki was not like she was in the present. She was not an energetic adorable child, nor was she a firm and gentle woman or a hot buxom babe; she perhaps could be said to be the very embodiment of the word "average". Dirty blond hair, freckled cheeks, spindly limbs all combined with a pair of over-sized glasses and a dislike for crowds to make her an introverted student that was neither outstanding nor eye-catching.

"Average." This was the term even she used to describe herself. Zanjutsu, hakuda, hohou, kido, while she might stay afloat rather easily in the middle percentile for all the fields of subjects, it had been made painfully obvious that she would never be stellar in any of them. Kido prodigies, blade-masters, flash-gods and talented duelists of all sorts came and go within the academy, staying even as short as only a year, but like a passing drizzle they left nothing of their thoughts behind and only a Roki Saarunga gazing enviously in their wake. An ordinary person such as her could only be content with going through the full course of the academy and hope that a seated officer or two would pity their yearning souls and lift them up into the embracing glory of the Gotei.

That is not even touching on the subject of her zanpakuto.

Like many others, it had remained woefully silent whilst the gifted ones were blessed by their spirits as early as even before the meditating sessions had even begun. Unfair... so not fair... why do they get to achieve so much where many others have slogged and failed? _Talent is not equal_, a nagging voice drawled lazily in her mind, a reminiscent from a book she had read in the school's library during her tenure as its librarian. Seriously, that is probably the best and only club for an average person with no observable strengths... like her.

And how true that quote was.

The underwhelming feeling that she felt when people had the obvious need to flaunt their zanpakutos' prowess in public brawls and whatever in order to establish themselves as certified "badasses" of the academy gnawed at her; the smug looks on those people's faces when they emerged from examination grounds all grinning from ear to ear frustrate her to no end. It was not that she did not try either but she could do nothing about it, for Roki Saarunga is average and never could hope to compete with the elites such as them.

Until one day, when her sanctuary gave her its most powerful gift:

A book.

On the powers of the psyche.

To be more precise, it was a title-less black book about the power of manipulation, of tricksters and deceivers and (pre-)cognitive reasoning. Many had once read it and dismissed it as a load of tosh and for years it had sat forgotten upon that bookshelf until Roki chanced upon it again. After all, who needs to learn paltry mind tricks and its corresponding foundations in psychology when one commands powerful abilities at a zanpakuto's call? Yet, what was one man's trash is a young shinigami's treasure. After a brief scan-through she was firmly hooked and it did not take long for Roki Saarunga to make the book her bible. Like a fanatic she poured over its contents again and again with utmost zeal, making sure she drilled all that knowledge and concepts into her head. Soon after ensuring that, she then began to experiment with its teachings. Experiments, as its term suggest, often fail. More often than not she was caught in the process and the consequences were not pretty but the few tries that succeeded had left her with a feeling of exceptional jubilation. And thus, what was both affectionately and scathingly termed by both students and teachers alike as the "Great Pranking Era" began in the Shinigami Academy.

The Trickster sat with her legs folded in, Asauchi on her laps and eyes closed. After having replace the entire sake stock of the resident Kido Prodigy with water before watching the poor fool break down in spectacular fashion, she is currently tired both from the laughter and the strain needed to exchange all those liters of liquid. Meditation is also strongly advocated by what she had coined The Tome, needed to achieve the clarity of one's own mind and thus Roki is killing two birds with one stone here. As usual, the Library is mostly quiet and the scattering of students that littered the area were content to read quietly and not disrupt the peace. Those who dare to would have their names taken down to be added to the already-long Pranking List to await their turn for some hilarious retribution.

Indeed, this is how Roki Saarunga rebel against the social order. Not competing toe-to-toe with the strongest of her generation, but with her bag of tricks and her wits about her. Take that, Inequality! Take all those blessed with your ridiculousness and bugger off.

As she ranted and railed and plotted and schemed, Roki failed to notice she was falling asleep.

"^$& had came."  
"She? Who.. !^ Finally, #$% to get this $$ off our sk&&."  
"Can *(& free us?"

It took a while to refocus but when her vision came trickling back, Roki was greeted by a wide-arcing plain. Right at her front an apple tree stood with its lush canopy and enormous crown. However, what was more eye-catching than this gigantic tree is the boulder that had been erected near it as she instinctively neared the site. Bound to the stone with thick tangling vines, three feminine figures writhed and trembled as a vicious serpent towered over them on the boulder's tip. Poison continuously dripped from the snake's fangs towards the trio below and where the acidic substance made contact, an ugly burn wound boiled into existence before being healed as quickly as it had appeared. It must have been a lot of pain, but the most they did were to winced. It was as though they had been used to this, and that generate much horror on how long they had been undergoing such torture.

Her first question would had been to ask where the heck she currently was if not for the serpent and its cruelty. Even right there then, it is staring right at her with its beady red eyes as though readying itself to strike. With a gulp and a grimace, Roki found her voice to speak as she futilely tried to shake off the snake's creepy glare. "How... how can I help?"

"Cut the #*$!15# vi&* and $^ us!" The prepubescent kid (What is a child doing here?) demanded, just as the busty female with started yelling into the shinigami's face. "Nonon#!4( kill th% fuc $!*5 $nake first!"

"What?" Flat. What.

"&*##$ems th% $^e &*$not hear u$." Her voice is full of static... and disappointment. The figure clad in beige and green then shivered and spoke no more, a sudden slather of poison disfiguring her beautiful face beyond recognition and speech. Subsequently, the snake turned to the other two bound females, its obsession with the intruder gone.

Roki on the other hand, is utterly confused. Is this a prank of some sorts? Why are there these people being tortured here? Where in the Soul King's name is this place and what is she doing here? It was nowhere near the academy that is for sure. And this place seems like something out of a ridiculous dream.

Maybe it is...

And then, Roki Saarunga was rudely woken up from her state of rest.

"Roookiiiiiii!" a rather high voice came from a fellow student of the academy. this was a fairly young girl who had been accepted, though at a surprisingly young age for a student to be admitted. This girl's hair was a bright pink, complimented by her eyes that were of a slightly darker shade of pink. It wasn't them most mis-matched color set with her student uniform that she wore, the customly small uniform bearing red as was standard for female uniforms of the academy..

"Wake uuuuuuuup! Class starts sooooooon!" her voice was sort of high and highly agitating to most people, they always feared her screaming as they did the sound of sharp metal against most any other kind of smooth surface. "You don't want to miss first class do you?" the girl lightly hit the desk a few times to wake Roki up. "Wake up wake up!"

Now she was getting gradually more annoying as well.

"Come on come on come ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!" she was starting to flair her arms a bit, for whatever reason she felt the need to do so. She was displaying the text book overly bratty child she was. "We have to go noooooooooowwwwwwww!" She wasn't paying attention to the fact that Roki had awoken and was making a scene in the middle of the library.

"Wake uuu- Oh! Good morning! Why did you sleep in the library?! Why didn't anyone wake you?! You must not snore like at all and are like suuuuuuuper easy to miss! Why so tired?!

"Huh? What?" The Trickster opened her eyes, only for a heavy screaming _thing_ to deposit its weight upon her back, expelling her breath and almost breaking her spine all at once. With an instinctual retaliatory heave, Roki pushed back to throw the annoying interrupter off her poor back before swerving around to give the girl a piece of her mind.

"Damnit." She broke into an irritated yell. One of the good things about being librarians is that they could shout where others could not, namely here. "Stop screeching into my ear or I will boot you out!"

"This Library needs no banshee around." Roki firmly declared with a threatening glint in her eyes as she stared directly into the girl's own as if daring her to do just that. Who is she again? Soki? Suki? Saki? Oh... Seki. Seki the Windwailer as most of the student body in the academy had taken to calling her (which she thankfully is unaware of). High grating voice that irks one to no end with its endless repeating nonsense, the girl had somehow made it her life-mission to annoy the -beep- out of Roki. If only she could just excommunicate her peace would return to her life, but Roki feared that doing exactly that would make her one of the arrogant elites that she had so despised. Besides, zip that mouth shut and Seki is a perfectly nice and ordinary girl to hang out with actually.

"There is no classes today, Seki." Roki finally sighed. Being a patient accommodating person is such a chore. "It is stated there in the schedule okay? There is a parade going on today with the Gotei and hence I am taking my time off here. Since it is still morning there is not much people around so I decided to catch some shut-eye." She explained, slowly and clearly as though talking with a retarded child. Although _that_ might had been something to do with her shenanigans. A faint memory revealed that she had replaced Seki's timetable, which makes this encounter all the more damning, because it would mean that this is karma coming back to bite her in the ass for something she had done. Urgh, and cutting off that weird dream with her...

Her what exactly? Meeting anthropomorphic personification of her dream whom she could not hear properly sounded so much like one of the meetings with a zanpakuto spirit as the "elites" had so kindly described (and bragged about) during their zanpakuto lessons. If that is truly the case, then Seki had just wrecked her chance to converse with her zanpakuto, something she had been clamoring for.

Roki groaned. Bite her ass indeed.

* * *

It was only after a long while of insistent persuading and desperate coercing before Roki Saarunga managed to shake off Seki, all the time sustaining pitying looks from the current Library dwellers that had started to file out after witnessing the dawn of the Wind-wailer upon the once peaceful place. Nobody wants to stay around any longer than they could, and it is up to the poor Librarian (whoever she is) to grab the attention of the hyperactive screecher while they make their hasty escape. By the time there was all but them left within the Library did Seki seemed to have finally realise her mistake, only for her genki, annoying self to change topic into one about Roki cooping herself up with books and should go enjoy the outside world more.

Thus, Roki is currently sitting beneath the shade of a tree in a hideaway corner far from prying (and Seki's) eyes, after making a poor excuse about being needed somewhere before shunpo-ing off. She sighed. Having wasted off the morning of a rare break-day entertaining the idiosyncrasies of one Wind-wailer, whatever mood she had to doing something 'constructive' had been destroyed. Right now, she is just content with lying around and slacking the day out.

Until of course, her current sanctuary is rudely invaded (again) this time by no one else other than one of the local 'prodigies' around.

Karu Karende is what the academy teachers all cooed The Blade Genius, with capitals. Besides being his namesake and pounding each and every student of his batch and beyond in his area of expertise, he had also been rumored to have defeated an instructor in an epic duel involving a broken blade, a cleanly cleaved stage and a straw sandal. What makes him the target of much envy and fan-girl-ism is the fact that he had obtain shikai and is said to have already earned his place as a seated officer in the Gotei Thirteen. Of course that cues in much blatant boot-licking from almost everyone in the school, even the teachers themselves.

The fact that he is currently alone without his annoying ever-present troupe is surprising to say the least.

"Oh.. uh... I am sorry. I didn't know the place is occupied." the handsome browned haired boy sheepishly said, breaking the silent monotony of the hideaway. One good look at him is all Roki needed to know why Karu is the subject of much feminine worship. Perhaps it was because she had never associated herself closely with such celebrities, but that day was the first time Roki noticed how his wavy hair flowed in the gentle breeze, and his perfect features shone in the sunlight to the point of artificiality. For a moment there, she was held entranced by the friendly smile the boy had shown, no, dazzled her and her heart almost...

No! What in the Soul King's name is she thinking? She despised this type of people the most! These people who never worked for anything but yet gets everything, they deserve to get their comeuppance at the hands of...

"Uh... you there?" Karu was waving his hands to catch her attention, which she presumed was because she had dazed out in front of him. Now he would think she is another of his crazy fans when she was anything but."I will leave now if I am bothering you."

God, that sickening polite tone.

"No. It's okay." She found herself saying. "There is enough space for two."

Roki smiled in return to Karu' relieved face as he sat himself down on the other side of the tree. Of course, why would she not? This is the perfect chance for her to serve some well-deserved retribution and The Blade Genius is going to regret ever seeing her in this place, ever.

"You know, I thought this place was going to be my secret when I first chanced upon it a few weeks back. It is such a nice place just to chill out and relax from all the chaos of our daily lives."

Why would he even want to seek a reprieve from his high-flying life was beyond the Trickster.

"I am sorry for intruding into what is yours. If you ever want me gone, just tell me and I will be out in a second notice."

Is that sincerity she detect in his voice? Roki inwardly shrugged. She ignored him anyway and he seems to be content being ignored, instead entering a meditative trance of sorts. Just as well, for Roki's straying hand took the chance to wander behind her back, slowly but surely loosening the sash on the boy's uniform. The poor bloke did not notice anything. It would not fall off straight away (frankly she has no need to see his underwear) but it will sooner or later once he is back in his crowd.

And it would be so scandalous indeed, hehehe.

Thus, this was how it came to be: Every day without fail, Roki Saarunga would escape to her hideaway, only for Karu to pop up sooner or later with his sheepish smile and courteous manners. Sometimes, he would even be there already before her, lying beneath the spot he had so frequently occupied with a content look on his face as he enjoyed his nap under the cooling shade. Everytime though, he would be seen with a muffin or two and soon enough, Roki would even discover a muffin at her spot when she arrive, perhaps as a peace offering from the boy. At first she was suspicious and adamant not to try anything from the "elite" but gave in one day only to find out that the treat was absolutely delicious. Not that she would admit it in front of him though and thus nothing other than polite civilised greetings occurred between the two of them as usual. Until one day Karu suddenly brought up a very interesting question to the Trickster.

"Uh... excuse me?" With his form abruptly looming over her, Roki almost wanted to shoo him back to his spot on the other side of the tree on grounds of attempted outrage of modesty when she caught sight of his face. The look on it indicated that he had been wanting to say whatever he is going to say for some time now and she suppose she could entertain the boy genius for once.

"Yes?" Roki curtly asked, turning her head the other way. She might have relented just a tiny bit, but it does not mean she had to be all nice and dandy. Somehow, Karu took the response as a cue for him to sit down beside her, infuriating her to no end. She shifted herself slightly away in silent defiance, and the boy flinched.

That however did not deter him from his original intentions. "Umm... I know this sounds weird but do you have any idea regarding a knife with the initials R.G.M on it? I kind of lost it and I needed it back..."

Roki only raised an eyebrow in response. So that is what he is looking for. Coincidentally, she suppose she might have something to do with it a while back when she had conveniently relieved the shinigami prodigy of its weight. He had a zanpakuto already, so why would he need a knife for? And a butterfly knife too, that thing is pretty dangerous. Right now, it should be sitting in one of her shelves gathering dust by the moonlight. "Nope." She lied to his face. Serve the guy right.

"It had been really ... weird. Funny things keep happening to me, and my stuff kept going missing. Just awhile ago, my uniform mysteriously had a hole in them for no reason and even before that they keep getting themselves undone in front of the others." Boy, the look of distress on his face is absolutely delicious and he never once suspected her. "I think I am cursed somehow..."

If not for the fact that she was facing the other way, the gig would have been up there and then. There is no way she could explain the smirk on her face if Karu had seen it and this is getting too fun for it to end now.

"That knife... it was from an important person. For me to lose it is... _unforgivable_." There was a change in the tone of the boy's voice, and Roki could not help but notice his knuckles clenching up till they are white. His handsome face was scrunched up into ... bitterness? Anger? Roki had no idea. All she knew was that the atmosphere is turning uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." Karu softly spoke after a period of uneasy silence. "I had been rambling ain't I? It must have been really awkward for you to listen me like that."

Roki was stunned. By the time she had recovered and turned herself around to properly face Karu for the first time, the boy was already gone from the hideaway, leaving her alone again to ponder over what had happened.

"It's... just a knife right?" She whispered to the rustling leaves.

For a few days after the incident that Roki had no idea what it even was about, Karu was conspicuously absent from the Hideaway but soon enough, he was back with an air of awkwardness about him. It took a few more days after that before the Trickster finally relented and decided to give the knife she pilfered back to the fellow. Surprisingly enough, people she had gone around asking were either oblivious to the fact he had a friend with the initials R.G.M or they had no idea at all. Not even the most hardcore of his fans were aware that Karu had friends. Either they really did not know, or they were just patronizing her.

So when she had laid said knife at his spot before the boy arrived and was roughly shaken awake moments later, she was unprepared for whatever is about to transpire. Roki was so sure that he would had connected the dots about her stealing his prized possession that she was absolutely surprised when the Blade Genius gave a cry of "Oh my god." and hugged her.

"Thanks! Thanks for helping me find it miss..."

"Roki, Roki Saarunga." She found herself giving away her name, still in a perpetual daze.

"I'm Karu. Karu Karende." Roki then felt something wet on her cheeks. Did he... did he just kissed her? "Nice to meet you, Saarunga-san."

"I... uh... Nice to meet you."

And that, was how the two of them formally met each other and became friends.

* * *

Although Roki became Karu' friend, she is still technically not. The muffins, the times they spend underneath the tree in the hideout comparing homework and discussing life, they were all secret. In all sense of the word, she was never the Blade Genius' friend. None other than the two of them knew of this friendship, and Roki was pretty fine with that. Whenever they met each other outside the boundary of their sanctuary, she had never spared a single glance in the boy's direction nor initiated a single conversation. However, it is not the same for the other side and that began a series of trouble that Roki could not wait to forget. At first, Karu had approached her in an attempt to talk, but immediately faltered as the atmosphere grew eeriely cold with all the murderous glares given in Roki's direction. It was fortunate that he knew enough how to read the situation then and wised up to his fangirls' killing intent but it was not enough to save Roki from the numerous harrassments from various "well-meaning" parties that followed after the Blade Genius publicly took interest in the average her.

Instances of threats were fairly common. Occassionally, the jealous bitches included various degrees of bullying and violence, fuelled by the fact that they were mercilessly pranked and made laughing stock by an unknown personel only a few moments before.

"I am sorry, Roki-san. They are really getting too far." He softly said one day in the sanctuary as he watched the Trickster tenderly nurse herself.

"It is okay." She hissed in reply, pressing a wet cloth onto that swollen bump on her cheek. "If you try to stop them, they will just become more..." Roki trailed off, Karu suddenly right infront of her and staring right into her eyes. She instinctively held her hands up infront of her in case he would suddenly assault, but all the boy did was to push away her wet hair and caress that part of her injured face. "No. It is not okay." he said, before pulling her into a hug. When he broke away, there was a muffin in her hands.

Here was the person who had fished her out of her solitary unnoticed world, who caused much grief and hurt to her by just simply talking to her. She could have slap him there and then or throw the muffin in his face as a form of payback no matter how small. Yet, ba-dump, was all Roki could do. She could only stare back into those doeful eyes, eyes that wished they could do something to help her in her pedicrament, while her heart started to race. She did not even notice when Karu muttered another apology and left the area, only staring dazedly into the blank space in front of her as her mind kept recounting the closeness of his features and the scent of his breath. And the muffins. Yes, the heavenly muffins he always seems to produce. She vaguely wonder if she should pay him back with some food of her own.

That night, Roki Saarunga could not sleep.

Tossing and turning in bed, all she could think of was the scene back in the day in the hideaway. All she could see was his face... his eyes... his lips. All she could hear was his voice, until a second joined her mind.

"Stay away from him, you bitch!"

That voice, was that of the leader of the bunch that had pulled her into a toilet for a "nice little" integorration session.

"We won't have you seducing our Karu-kun, slut." Then, the sound of flushing toilet and a slap accompanied their cruel laughter.

"Consider this a warning from us. " The silhouette of a snake fluttered into view, speaking in the voice of the bully, forked tongue streaking in and out with venom.

With that, she was back in the plains, with the snake and the three spirits wirthing in agony at their respective place. This time however, only the serpent was talking. The others... had no face to speak.

_Paruparupauparuparuparuparuparuparu._

"Do you envy them, girl?"

To the Trickster's surprise, it was not the hissing sound usually associated with snakes. This voice was much deeper than that. Composed but with a sinister undertone, it gave her a very weird feeling. Seeing that Roki had made no move to reply, the serpent asked again, bringing that unknown emotion to full force.

"Do you envy?"

"The talents.

The appearances.

The abilities.

The attention."

"The freedom to talk to him."

It was then one of the disfigured figures struggled exceptionally forcefully againt her bonds, as though voicing her soundless, utmost , Roki paid her no heed, for with the serpent's words she finally realised what is that emotion that plagued her.

Jealousy.

Ever since the day she resigned to her average fate, she had always and always envied others. Why she could not have nice things, was a thought that had always lingered in her mind and with every attempt of denial, she buried her burning and yet impossible desire in its depths.

_Paruparuparuparuparuparuparuparuparu._

With all her heart she wanted to scream a yes to the being's words. However, she could only manage to gather up her spirit to ask. "Who... are you?"

And the answer was immediate.

"I am you and you are me. One of the many parts of your soul. I am the hatred born from our jealously, the resentment you try to cover by settling payback with your... _pranks_." It swivelled its head to one of the smaller figures, surveying the tortured spirit condescendingly. "No doubt an idea from the Child."

Poison dripped from the serpent's fang onto the ground, causing the grass beneath it to wither.

"Soon, the Mother will suggest to cook for him and the Lover might even tell you to make him yours." It sneered. The him it refered to was obvious.

"But I can tell you. They won't work."

If snakes could laughed, it would have chuckled right then.

"The only way to get rid of your jealousy, is to kill."

Kill.

"The only way to make things fair."

"Him,

others,

or yourself"

The bound trio were very obviously struggling to break away from their bonds now, to reach out to the bewitched Roki and break her from the serpent's trance. Their face were even regenerating quickly, grotesquely rearranging their features so that they could speak. The snake on the other hand, did not seem to care, for it already had the girl firmly under its grasp.

"N*#!. Do^'t, 1$!ten to i)!

"And listen to you then? Look at you pathetic creatures, you can't even talk to her properly let alone tell her what to do outside of your shenanigans. Now begone!"

With a splash of venom, the three females were silenced once more, leaving alone Roki with the snake in the eternal world.

The next few days, Roki Saarunga lived in a perpetual daze. All she could think of as she look out of the window at the bustling life in the fields below is what the snake in her garden had told her. To kill… is to return everything to ashes so that all is equal once more. But Roki knew deep down that she might never be able to commit such a hideous act, for she is only average and she has neither the heart nor the skill to harm another person. Maybe she could… Roki quickly shook her head to clear it. To entertain such a dangerous thought had sent a shiver down her spine.

Ha. So not only is she just average, she is also a coward as well.

Coward… Roki could not help but feel ironic that she detest being in the other far end of the spectrum more than she detest being in the middle. She was indeed jealous after all.

"Alone, little slut?" came an unwelcomed voice. "Remember your warning? Or do I need to help you do it?"

Frankly speaking, Roki had no idea why the bully kept pestering her. Every single time they met, she made it a point to remind her with a cruel sneer and her posse will imitate the same action of forcing something under. It is not like she could not have gotten the message the first time round. The only rational reason why she had been so persistent was that she is a cruel bastard faced with a pushover of a lamb to the slaughter, reveling in the role of a predator to a prey.

A coward indeed, Roki bitterly snorted.

The next moment, she found herself gargling in the toilet bowl again, the overtone of the butch quite audible over the sound of gushing water.

"Come on. Snort at me again, you bitch!" She seemed very much infuriated and it sort of gave Roki some satisfaction at that fact. Shortly after a while, the girl was finally pulled out by the roots of her hair, right into the snarling face of a livid woman.

"Go on. Snort at me! Just try it!"

With that, Roki was roughly dunked into the water again for a second round. It went on after that for a while and Roki lost count long she had been alone in that toilet with the monster of a girl. When she laid in a crumpled heap against the filthy wall drenched from head to toe and faint from asphyxia did she know that the torture was finally at an end.

The bully was panting slightly. Perhaps even she had a limit to how long she could keep giving someone the swirly. "Stupid bitch."

"Next time remember to respect your betters." She spat, christening her work with a spit before turning to leave.

Yet, it was not all. That last sentence had tripped something within the Trickster. She had endured all the bullying. She even endured that demeaning spit on her at the end. However, Roki is damn sure as hell that the asshole bully in her presence right now was _not her better._

Never.

Roki Saarunga got up from the floor and lunged at retreating back of the detestable person in blind rage. There might have been a yell, but she could not remember. All she could remember was that there was a mad grab for the asauchi the bully had and then a sharp pain on her head as she was slammed into the hard reishi wall. Then a sword was suddenly sticking out of her side and the last face she saw before she collapsed into darkness was that of Karu Karende.

* * *

"I found her outside that toilet, sensei. There was someone who exited before her but I could not get a good glimpse of who it was."

"Thank you Karu-san." So… the teachers were on first name basis with the Blade Genius. "We would be able to find out who the assailant is through the asauchi and the information you have provided."

Then the sound of the door being closed echoed though the room. Roki opened her eyes to the white walls of the fourth division and the concerned face of the resident Blade Genius of the academy.

"Hi…" She started lamely, only for the boy to shush her and motion for her not to speak.

"I am sorry, Roki-san." There was a sincere apology in his eyes. "I know it is my fault that this happened. I already got the teachers finding who almost killed you."

"If only I had gotten them to stop." Berating himself seemed out of place for a genius like him. "Then you would not have been hurt."

"Sometimes I had wished I was not some prodigy or something, and then maybe this kind of thing won't have happened…."

By then, Roki was not listening. How cruel can the world be? If only Roki was not bedridden, she would have railed against the heavens and maybe go and give the Soul King a tight slap. A talented man like Karu wishing he was ordinary and yet there are thousands who wished they were like him, she herself included. Roki knew that Karu was not trying to mean anything with that but…

How… unfair.

How hypocritical he had sounded.

Like so many others before him.

Her mental tirade almost cascaded until Karu pulled out a muffin and presented it to her out of the blue. In an instance it was therapeutic, the faint aroma blowing away all her inner lamentations to the wind. Perhaps the world is not fair and never will be, but for that very moment of time when the time of that hospital room stood still, she shall enjoy that delicious offering with a kind young man gently smiling at her from the side of her bed.

It was a few days before Roki Saarunga was discharged from the fourth division, and another day before she felt well enough to attend lessons once again. It was currently that she found herself at the kido class and struggling to understand what the lesson was about due to her having missed the last few days' worth of content.

"The way of binding number sixty three consists of a precise series of moves that determines the strength of the spell. A slight mistake will weaken it considerably. Anyone here can show me how you cast it?" The instructor asked.

A number of hands instantly shot up, eager for recognition. One of those was of course the current top of the class. Roki, on the other hand, was not concentrating at the slightest.

"Roki! How are you? I heard you were staaabbed!" Woe be her that she got pestered by the Windwailer in lessons that she desperately need catching up on. "Did you see who did? Does it hurt? Can I see the wound?"

Ouch. Did she just poke her tender spot just like that? That little brat-

"Do you need help Saarunga-san? You were absent the last few lessons after all."

It was lucky that an assistant instructor came over at that moment because Seki was seriously grating her to the point of implosion. It was unsure whether that move saved Roki or the annoying girl but she was glad that at least someone saw her plight and acted to save her from it.

"I am sure your friend does not like that, Seki-san." The newcomer pointedly commented, causing the Windwailer to smile sheepishly.

Uyusei Kano, the relatively infamous girl who was the only survivor of the fiasco of a purification ritual way back in the past. Rumors have it that she did not carry a zanpakuto around because she did not have one, and was thus stuck in the academy for a long time, never to graduate, never to see the Gotei Thirteen. That aside, she was also said to be a kido master by those who had seen her in action but frankly speaking, Roki did not care. She had always been indifferent to these "prodigy" types after all; they have enough fame without her joining in.

"Do you need help?" She kindly repeated, making Roki realize that she had yet to answer.

The Trickster nodded, prompting the other girl to quickly guide her through the hand signs. "You see, this hand needs to be here…"

The lesson flew by and soon, it was break time. Giving Kano a small muttering of thanks, Roki exited the Kido grounds with Seki right on her tail. She was about to make up some kind of excuse to break away from the Windwailer when Roki caught sight of a familiar person making way towards them.

"You…" The bully hissed through gritted teeth.

Roki chose not to reply, coldly staring at the person who gave her a sword to the abdomen.

"Bitch, you had gotten me into so much trouble that it is not even funny." She shrieked.

Roki only smiled back, albeit a little too cruelly, prompting the raving girl to burst into a rage. "Suspension! And a probation from shinigami duties for a year! It is thanks to you here that I am going to graduate later than all of my friends…."

Roki's eyes narrowed, the ranting all but blocked out of her mind. So in the end, her assailant was only punished by a suspension and probation that did not even amount to be more than ten years. So much for bringing her almost murderer to justice, no matter how efficient they might be. This girl in front of her that was gesticulating like a madman, she was from a noble family was she not? Being the scion of the Kinkyu house would certainly explain the leniency she received from the superiors above. Roki shudders to think what would have happened if she were to stab this pompous princess instead, for the punishment then would definitely not be as light had it happened to a commoner like her.

"…. to a duel of honor!" The Kinkyu girl righteously finished.

"Huh?" How did that happened?

The Kinkyu girl only stared with a look that could have killed. It was Seki that helpfully explained the context. "She wanted to duel with you, Roki-chan…"

A… duel?

Oh.

Roki Saarunga suddenly felt like laughing. Is that how those nobles settle the wounds to their egos nowadays? Is that how they can emerge from a scuffle that nearly took the life of a fellow schoolmate and still be righteous about it because their pride was hurt even though they were obviously at the wrong? Being a person in high places surely entitled you to some nice privileges.

"No th…"

_Make her pay._

It came again, her inner darkness billowing from the depths of her mind.

Now is a good chance to get back at all she had done to her.

"Very well." Roki corrected herself. "How about now?"

Judging by the stunned look on Kinkyu's face, it seemed that it never occurred to her that Roki would accept there and then. Not that she is one to back down either. "Fine!" The other girl spat, her arrogant tone noticeably deflated, but still full of vitriol all the same. Roki one, Kinkyu zero.

"What is going on here?" Uyusei Kano asked, snapping the tension immediately. The sight of two girls staring each other down in a faceoff and another smaller one hiding behind one of them just reeks of nothing but brewing trouble to her teaching senses.

"Nothing." The Kinkyu girl coolly answered, although the relief in her voice was showing. She then brushed aside the petite assistant instructor with a look of contempt and briskly walked past Roki. Her words to the Trickster, though in a whisper, were as clear as day.

"Tonight, clearing west of the shunpo grounds."

Roki only smiled.

As luck would have it, that was her territory.

* * *

Night falls soon enough, though it did nothing to silence the Windwailer by her side as she trekked to the meeting place.

"Roki-chan! Don't do it! It is a trap!"

"Then I will just use my own trap. Why else am I going there early for?"

"What if… what if something happen to you?"

"I will be careful, Seki. So stop nagging me."

"But it is reeeaaally dangerous!"

Roki Saarunga stopped in her tracks and turned to face the small girl.

"Listen, Seki. If I am not back in an hour, go find Karu."

Karu of all people would know where she is. Karu would know what to do. And Karu is the only other friend she have, however sad that sounds.

Seki reluctantly nodded in acknowledgment and ran off back to the academy, leaving her all alone in the darkness. Under the light of the pale moon of Seireitei, Roki briefly wondered if this was the right thing to do before she resumed her passage to the appointed place.

Before long, she reached the clearing that was her peaceful hideaway and immediately set about her work. Going head to head with Kinkyu will never work in her favor; the scar from her tussle back in the toilet was proof of that. She will need something that can give her an advantage over a bigger and faster opponent and the trap she is about to set will hopefully make sure of that.

With her asauchi confiscated, Roki doubt that Kinkyu will want to engage her in melee combat and resort to kido instead. Therefore her most likely position would be in the circumference of the clearing. With that in mind, Roki sequestered a rock on top of the central tree with enough rope length such that it will swing in an arc and hopefully cover the entire perimeter when triggered, knocking the bully out silly. At least, that was the plan. It was cliché, but she would surely take whatever works to her advantage

The chance came, almost a few minutes past her trap completion when the bully wandered into the clearing like a lost lamb to the slaughter. Roki revealed herself, drawing her blade as she did so.

"Good evening."

And she was greeted back by none other than a flurry of demon fire that flashed past her by a couple of inches. Stoic black faces of three hulkish men surfaced from behind the shadows and stared into the Trickster's shocked features. Roki had expected Kinkyu to play dirty, but certainly not to this extreme; those men were specially trained guards employed by the noble houses to protect their very safety and grounds. To think that someone of such high standings would mobilise them to satisfy her wounded pride was beyond her.

A sidestep just in time barely spared Roki from being skewered by the sharp end of a trident. They could not be serious… could they?

"I will have my revenge, you bitch!" The sneering face of the cheat was eerily frightening under the pale moon, but Roki was too busy running to even care.

It is just not possible for her to win against three professional fighters on her own. A successful parry or dodge will only make her open to other incoming attacks. From the looks of it, there was no way she could ever go on the offensive, leaving only one option open to her - to flee. They might have realized what she was doing, for one of them suddenly shunpo-ed to her front and lashed out.

"Damn!" Roki cried. A scar painfully seared itself across her left cheek as the trident narrowly missed her eye. With this, all bets were off. That Kinkyu girl laughing under the shade at the boundary of the clearing really was out for blood.

_Her_ blood.

"Bakudou no yong, Sai!" A haphazard binding spell was all she could manage in retaliation to restrain the one in her way to the safety of the forest. Yet even as the bound man fell to his own weight, the other two immediately closed in and blocked her way, leaving her no choice but to retreat back to the center of the clearing for a better vantage point. Only that she was too slow to do so.

Roki bit her lips when one of the trident sweeps sliced her hamstring, causing her to tumble onto the cold muddy ground. Turning back to face her attackers, it was a mere split second later when her sword hand was impaled mercilessly onto the ground. It took all she had not to scream in pain as Roki desperately struggled to pull out the offending trident, but her assailants offered her no such reprieve. A sandal came down upon her head like a hammer and forced the Trickster to the ground, while a hand picked up the sword that she had dropped.

"Well, that was too quick."

Roki's own blade was soon by her neck.

"Nobody would miss someone like you if you were to disappear."

There was nothing she could say that could make it less true which was exactly why it hurt, so much more than her wounded hand. Tears were already starting to well up in Roki's eyes as both mental and physical pain took their toll on her.

"This hair…" A sharp pain coursed from her scalp as her captor pulled up her hair. "I should cut it."

With that, Roki's face fell back into the dirt, the tension holding it up gone. Her glasses cracked at the impact, like a wound of humiliation to whatever was left of her dignity.

"This face… I should scar it." A sharp pain sliced across her other cheek.

"Now you look so absolutely terrible, bitch."

It suddenly struck Roki how ridiculous the situation was as she laid there. Not once had she heard Kinkyu called her by her name. The girl probably did not even know who she was and yet here she was, lording over and torturing her to no end over something she herself had started. When will this retarded and pointless feud ever end?

_When you are dead. _The voice of realization hissed.

_Kill or be killed. _

_Come. Take me._

_Unleash me._

_Call my name._

"Sakebe, Hebi nimokakawarazu." (Scream, Serpent Spite.)

"Wha…" The sword in Kinkyu's hand abruptly came to life, causing a shriek of horror and surprise as the blade coiled and flicked about like a grotesque appendage. What caused her to finally let go was when the handle of the katana morphed into a distinct serpent's head and started hissing menacingly into her skin.

_Rip. Blood. Tear. Flesh. Kill. _

Roki effortlessly dislodged the trident from her hand where she could not before and slowly rise from the ground while the snake-blade slithered up her legs and onto her grip.

"Fuck you…" She whispered, the crazed gleam in her eyes so perturbing that her torturer lost all sense of composure. She attacked, slashing sharply downwards with a bloodlust-filled fervor.

"G-get her! Get her now!"

Kinkyu backed away in horror even as her men surged forward to protect their lady, but it was futile. The path of the Trickster's blade travelled in an arc towards her target, ignoring any efforts to parry it. There was a scream and the blade drew blood.

She grinned.

Yet the delightful cries of pain from the stuck-up bitch were short-lived. Before Roki could react, a glowing rope of spiritual energy had zipped around her waist and tightened. Not a single hesitation was given before the she immediately burst free with a flare of black reiatsu. However even as she escaped from her bindings, several more coalesced to take their place. What took place shortly after was a continuous series of reiatsu blasts rocking the entire clearing as the two sides pitted their brute strength against each other, but with every escalating round her strength waned and once again Roki could not keep up. Around her, all three bodyguards were chanting fervently in a crescendo of symphony, weaving powerful spell after spell as they endeavored to contain the newly empowered Trickster. Then, with a final salvo of restraining demon magic, the entire trio lunged forward to thrust their tridents right towards her heart.

Roki struggled against her bonds but even with her heightened strength, it was near impossible for her to break out of several high level spells in such a short time. She tried and tried and they only reminded her of her inadequateness again and again.

So it shall be this night her average existence finally end. Deep down inside, Roki briefly wondered if this was what she had been looking for when she accepted the duel back then. Perhaps she had been searching for someone to kill her all along because she was too cowardly to do it on her own, but it did not matter anymore does it? She could only hope that her next life would be much more outstanding than her current one. Death is nothing more than a sweet release from her current pitiful self.

Yet what is this twinge of regret she felt?

Regret that she could not have been better. Regret that she was to die and nobody would have cared. She would disappear and the world will still carry on without her.

_"Nobody would miss someone like you if you were to disappear."_

No. She did not want to die like this! Damn the heavens that gifted her nothing! Damn the world that made her average! Damn the society that fostered this inequality! She did not want to die…

_Average._

With a final flare of reiatsu, Roki gathered up all of her remaining strength to break the bonds in one last act of defiance to her attackers and the society that had wronged her. At first, it seemed to work and the bonds frizzled in protest against the stress but the last of her reserves ran dry and the Trickster fell short.

She failed. There was no escape.

There was only impending death.

Only that death did not come.

At the very moment she was about to be impaled, a shout rang across the clearing followed immediately by a familiar figure hurtling through the air and slamming one of the three guards out of the way. Using the momentum from the blow to stop, the person then positioned himself in a protective stance in front of her and blocked the remaining two blows – one with his blade and the other with his body.

"K… karu- kun?" Roki dared not breathe.

Her savior turned back to her and flashed a pained but winning smile. "Seki-san went to get me."

At the mention of her name, the Windwailer appeared by Roki's side and propped her up. It was as though a huge burden was lifted from her shoulders.

It does feel nice to have someone to lean on sometimes.

"Roookiii! You are hu…" Whatever she said after that Roki Saarunga did not hear, for exhaustion took hold of her abused body and she fainted clean away.

* * *

It was the second time within a short period of time that she was admitted into the fourth division wing, but this time however there was only spiritual exhaustion, some bruises and that gaping wound on her palm to worry about. Her cheek scars were mending nicely and she could always regrow her hair. The healer had assured her that there are no lasting damages and that she would be out of the hospital bed faster than the first time round when she had a hole in her abdomen.

"Rookiii! You cannot believe how cool Karu-sama was!" The energetic girl gesticulated. "He slashed here and bam, one of them went down immediately. Rokiiiiii! Rokiii! Are you even listening?"

Roki Saarunga turned to the Windwailer and gave a small smile. She might have been irritating, but she had saved her life and that ought to amount to something. Besides, it would be nice to have a friend one can count on.

"He also called his zanpakuto, you know. Suberu, Ryuashi! (Slide, Dragon Paw)!" Seki pumped up her hands and exclaimed with enthusiasm, causing annoyed stares from patients and healers on duty within the ward. As per usual, she did not even seem to notice and carried on with her excited chatter. "Wham! Bam! Kabam! Hiiiya! Ha! And another one is down for the count."

Roki smiled, pretending to find interest in the Windwailer's story. It must have been the twentieth time she had heard it from the girl and every version of the events always seem to evolve until the current retelling appeared to be something out of a shounen manga. What actually happened was far less...cool. Karu, although injured, fared better than she did in fending off three trained warriors but as with her case, was still too outnumbered in the end. It took him some near experience with death before he was forced to release his zanpakuto to even the odds. Even then, while released and with his reputation as the Blade Prodigy, it still took Karu some grievous hurt in the process of subduing his opponents. From what she had heard from the healers, there were multiple scorch marks in addition to open wounds on his body when they were both brought in. Nobody would tell her any more than that, but if she were to hazard a guess, Karu was in a far worse condition than she was.

Those men were no joke after all. They had no qualms about ending her life. If Seki had not gotten hold of Karu, or worse, came alone Roki was sure that the world would have been rid of two of its unwanted inhabitants by the end of the night.

As for the Kinkyu girl herself, she had escaped after Roki wounded her, leaving behind only a bloody trail as testament to her murder attempt.

_A pity._

Roki flexed her injured hand as she watched Seki bound about emulating an epic duel between the last assassin and the Blade Prodigy that never happened. She had actually called upon her zanpakuto the night before and it answered, making her one of the few people who actually managed to obtain shikai before they graduate from the Academy.

"Sakebe, Hebi nimokakawarazu." She whispered, imagining her zanpakuto transform in her hand.

_Scream, Serpent Spite. _That was its meaning, the imaginary snakehead told her.

Does that elevate her to someone special now? Does it mean that she is no longer… average? Everything seemed to have been an elaborate dream that she could not dare to believe. Her obtaining shikai, Seki being a surprisingly trustworthy friend and Karu saving her like a shining white knight. It was as though the world had heard her rage and relented in its harshness.

Seki crashed into one of the stands causing a healer to berate her but Roki did not frown disapprovingly like the others did at the sight; she giggled instead. The Windwailer had kindly told her the location of Karu's ward and she had made up her mind to visit her savior once she was well enough. Maybe she should make him something to eat in return for all those muffins he had treated her all these time. A cake perhaps? Karu is bound to be pleasantly surprised.

It would also be a nice change from all the hospital food they are feeding him as well as a good experience for her too. It did not matter that she did not know how to cook; she can always learn the skill from recipes and cookbooks when she gets better.

For now, she is content to rest, for all is right with her world.

* * *

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_Four._

_Five. This should be the one._

Roki nervously held the cupcake in her bandaged hands like a sacred offering as she dallied by the doorway, unsure if she should go inside. Would it seem weird for her to enter with the intention of giving foodstuff like this? Did she look terrible with her all bandages and injuries? She should really get her broken glasses fixed soon, that crack in her line of vision sure is distracting. What if Seki told her the wrong location?

Oh, this is getting so embarrassing and difficult, even if Karu stayed in a private ward.

Deep breaths, Roki Saarunga. You can do this. It will be as simple as "Hi Karu-san. How are you? Here is something to thank you for saving my life back then." Then she can follow up some small talk about life and such before taking her leave. Simple as that.

So why exactly is her heart beating like crazy?

Any efforts to calm herself down was to no avail. At that current moment of time, it was the first and only time Roki wished that Seki was around just to give her an impetus to enter the ward. If only, she could be half as thick-skinned as the Windwailer…

A sudden familiar aroma caught her attention, immediately followed by the opening of the ward door. A beautiful lady gracefully exited the room, bringing the scent of freshly baked muffins with her. Locks of silky raven hair, exquisitely embroidered finery, flawless features, she extruded an aura of grace and regality that the Kinkyu girl could never hope to match - This person is true nobility.

Something important started to gnaw at the back of her mind, but her breath was held by this mysterious girl she never seen before. Roki could only stare in awe as the girl turned and walked away with her beautiful locks flowing behind her without even acknowledging the presence of the Trickster. Heads were turned when she passed and… she seemed to revel in the attention?

"We are ready for your departure." A person dressed in servant attire greeted the girl at the end of the hallway with a deep bow. "Rikka Ginmaki - sama."

Then they were gone, leaving Roki behind in their wake.

After what seemed like a full minute, Roki finally regained enough of her senses to dazedly push through the ward door. Then, the gnawing feel came back in full force.

She froze.

She froze as Karu turned away from the muffin held in his hand to look at his next visitor. She froze as Karu recognized her and gave her a warm smile. She froze as he put the entire basket of muffins on his lap away. She froze as he beckoned for her to come in and said, "So, it seems you have met Rikka."

The affection spoken in that last word shattered any little bit of denial Roki had.

_R.G.M_

The thud of the cupcake as it impacted the floor was the only indication that Roki Saarunga had been in Karu Karende's room.

_A pity._

Roki cried.

_A pity indeed._

For the entire night she cried and cried into the pillow, but no matter how much tears she shed, she could not drown that wrenching feeling in her heart. All those things from before, the muffins, the smiles, and the time they spent in that secret haven.

It was all a lie.

A lie she made up to deceive herself. A wishful thinking that ultimately came back to haunt her. She had hoped, hoped for things to change, that perhaps someone would like her and see something special or worthwhile in her. She had hoped so much that when someone came and showed her the slightest amount of affection, she mistook it as something more. In the end, it mattered little how she had felt. The world will go on without her. _His_ world will go on without her.

It was the bitter truth.

When her tears ran dry, her mind was numb. There was neither sadness, nor distain. There was only resignation. Roki Saarunga laughed bitterly at the wet stain on her bed. That girl was everything a guy would wish for; Karu was the guy every girl would wish for. They are the match made in heavens and their love story never had a part for anyone named Roki Saarunga.

Never. For she knew she would never be able to compete with the likes of Rikka Ginmaki. Not in power nor wealth, and definitely not in the looks department. That sweet face could probably move mountains with a mere smile and the most frustrating thing is that she most likely knew it enough like most of her kind to entice countless of willing men to die for her whims. A frown for attention and a smile for favors, it had always been the case for such pretty faces.

_This kind of people needs to die._

Yes.

_They need to know what it feels like to be a nobody._

_^$to#$&_

These skin-deep harlots of opportunity.

_Death equalizes all._

Roki found herself standing outside Karu's ward looking in through a crack in the door opening, zanpakuto grasped tightly in her grip. In there she found her target, talking and laughing with the boy of her dreams. She giggled and he moved to hold her smooth petite hand. He teased her, and she blushed with sweet embarrassment. With every display of affection between the two lovebirds, it further incensed the already unstable Roki.

_Go in._

_No! Y#0 ca%%ot do thi$. _

Sweat soaked the handle of her sword as she grappled with her hold on her sanity. The final straw came when Rikka Ginmaki slipped out a muffin from a fresh basket of them and proceeded to feed it to Karu.

No! D$(n't l00k! _T*rn nd wa!k… _

There was a dying scream of her conscience.

_Go in._

And Roki Saarunga burst into the room, much to the surprise of the people currently inside.

"Roki-san?" The Blade Genius grinned when he recognized the newcomer and exclaimed. "Yesterday you left so suddenly."

"What…." A blade shot past his line of sight, causing warm blood to splatter onto his face. "Happened…"

Even as Rikka Ginmaki gasped in shock and fell to the ground like a fragile wax figurine, Karu's face contorted from concern to absolute horror and disbelief. With his mouth shaped into a silent scream, he scrambled out of his bed without any regards to his injuries and cradled the blood soaked princess in his arms.

"Rikka! Rikka!" He shook the girl, his hand helplessly clutching over the wound in a futile effort to staunch the flow. "Oh my god… Rikka! Somebody, please help!"

Her objective complete, Roki Saarunga only laughed.

She laughed like a deranged maniac watching the life drain out of her prey.

So even the elites die like a normal person. Even the most perfect being can die like a worthless animal. In death, everybody is average.

In death, everyone is equal.

For a short while the entire room was filled with her insane laughter, until a resounding slap silenced the madness once more. Karu was standing in front of her, raising his blade to her throat.

"_Get out_." He said in quiet fury, clearly shaking and trying to repress his desire to outright kill the Trickster where she stood.

His eyes shone with so much hatred that it jolted Roki out of her irrationality. For the first time since her episode of lunacy, the full weight of the atrocity she had committed bore down into the depths of her soul. Just like that, the friendship between them was shredded beyond return.

"Get out before I kill you."

Roki needed no telling twice; She flash-stepped away, just as the healer on duty arrived onto the scene of crime.

* * *

What have I done?

It was question she kept repeating to herself throughout the whole time she was in her sanctuary. For the entirety of the following three days after the incident, Roki Saarunga had stayed under the tree in the clearing. She was hungry, wet and cold, but she did not move from her spot. She did not want to see or talk to anybody. She just wanted to disappear from the world.

Rain or shine, she replayed the event in her head over and over again and her mind will always end with the cold murderous stare Karu had given her. He must have hated her now. There was absolutely no way he will want to see her ever again. Tears fell freely down her cheeks at that damning thought, mingling with the rain drops from the morning drizzle still on her face.

No, she could make do without Karu in her life. He can hate her all he wanted, but she did it for his own good.

It was all worth it and one day, he will realize that.

_Really?_

A quiet voice different from that she had been hearing questioned in the back of her mind.

It was then a slight rustle broke her thoughts and alerted her to someone entering her hideaway.

"Ka…" Roki snapped her head up at the sight of the person, only to turn away when another girl followed in. "ru."

Why is she here?

As if to answer her unvoiced question, Karu icily said, "Rikka wanted to know why you did it."

_Why isn't she dead?_

"Why did you tried to kill her." He reiterated to the trembling mess in front of him as though she could not understand him the first time round.

Roki could only look back into those cold, judging eyes, dumbstruck by this stranger that was currently speaking to her. There was no more eye twinkling and friendly smile; Her Karu was dead and this is Rikka's Karu now.

"I…" She muttered the final death throe of their relationship. "…love you."

The look of disgust on Karu's face as he supported his frail girlfriend said it all.

"I see…" It was the noble girl's turn to speak. Her tone was surprisingly gentle and understanding but it was obvious she was becoming increasingly fatigued by the simple act of talking. "I won't pursue this… but please do not… bother us in the future…"

"We do not want to see you ever again" Karu curtly finished, throwing Roki's sword right at her feet.

That was the last sentence ever said between Roki Saarunga and Karu Karende.

The couple started to leave, with Karu tenderly helped Rikka Ginmaki out of the place he no longer wanted to be in. Staring dejectedly at the retreating back of the loving couple, Roki wanted to break down into tears, but there were no more tears to be shed.

_Go on._

Roki's hand found and gripped her blade.

_Go on. You know you want to._

_Call me._

_Finish what you started._

And she plunged her blade into herself.

She was back again in her mind's garden, back where the obelisk was. The three females had been disfigured so horribly that they were nothing but lumps of melted flesh. Hovering above the stone tip was the head of the serpent, tongue flicking as it stared at the Trickster questioningly.

"Do you not want revenge, girl?" It said, appearing to have grown much bigger than the first time she had seen it. "For leading you on, as what the humans called it?"

"And then cruelly dumping you like a used toy?"

For the longest while Roki stayed silent and still, her eyes shut with contemplation, the tear stains on her cheeks cutting out a lonesome figure in the empty mindscape.

"No." Her lips quivered ever so slightly.

"But I know you. You resent them."

"Yes." Roki admitted. "I do."

"Then call upon…"

"No." Her eyes flashed open, interrupting the temptations of the snake.

"It was my own fault. There is nobody to blame but myself."

"Even you, you who poisoned my mind," Roki stared pointedly at the serpent stunning it speechless. There is something different about the girl it could not pinpoint. "It was my mistake to listen."

"But…"

"I am tired."

Unbeknownst to the two of them, the three bounded prisoners were rapidly regenerating back to their former selves.

"I am tired of hating and comparing. It was why she deserved Karu more than I do."

There was a moment of silence between the two of them as they stared into each other's eyes before the serpent finally discarded its friendly demeanor.

"She is just acting, girl! That gentle and kind side of her is only a facade! She can forgive you so easily because she has everything else you do not have! She knew you can never compete with her."

The riled reptile reared its head up in an act of intimidation. "SHE PITY YOU, YOU FOOL"

"Even so," Roki's voice carried a calm determination that shook the boulder the snake was resting on. "It still did not make me a better person than her."

Roki raised her blade at the serpent.

"You may be a part of me, but for my sake, you have to disappear."

"Insolence!" By then, the serpent's voice have devolved into something akin to a full-fledge malevolent entity. "You cannot deny what wells from the darkness within your heart!"

And it lunged, its poisoned fangs heading straight for Roki's neck. The girl barely sidestepped the fatal strike, raising her blade up just in time to parry the serpent head that had swung back around.

"You. Cannot. Deny. Me." It hissed through metal and fang.

Roki only responded with a flourish of her blade, bringing it down to the ground as hard as she could to hurl the snake against the dirt floor. Taking the chance while it is stunned from the impact, she quickly slammed her foot down onto the snake to hold it in place while holding her sword up high like an executioner.

"Goodbye."

She slashed, and the asauchi came down upon the now vulnerable back of the writhing serpent. However, what she felt next was not the clean slice of blade through flesh but hard resistance as her weapon bounded off the snake scales. Panic overwhelmed Roki at that moment when she realized she could not cut the entity and it was all it needed to sweep its tail at her legs and knock her off itself. It took no more than a few seconds for the freed serpent to wind around the stunned girl and bind her.

"Fair attempt." The binds tightened, causing enough pain and discomfort for Roki to let go of her sword.

The tables were instantaneously turned. It now has Roki at its mercy.

"But that was infinitely foolish." The snake loomed just mere centimeters from Roki's face, poison dripping out of its wicked fangs and onto her face. The spots where they fell sizzled and burned but not a single groan of pain escape her lips

If a snake can click its tongue, it would have done so as it stared down the defiant glare the girl was giving. "There is no way you can ever cut me with your current blade."

"Without me, you might as well be nothing!"

It opened its mouth wide and struck, only for Roki to be faster. In a last-ditch attempt to save her own skin, she gathered all her strength and thrust her head forward, head-butting the incoming attack. There was a loud snap as the fangs cleanly broke off and the ensuing pain caused the binds on her to slacken. It was just enough for her to reach for her fallen sword in one hand and the serpent head in another. Quickly but surely she then brought the two of them together, the tip of the sword right at the vulnerable inside of the serpent mouth.

Once again, try as she might the sword still would not penetrate the snake. That fleeting feel of triumph turned into despair and just when it appears that the Trickster would miss this last opportunity to kill the personification of hatred and jealousy within herself, a soft hand took hers.

She looked up and was greeted by a child; the very same one that was bound to the boulder. The child smiled, and two more hands joined theirs. No words were spoken, but it was there and then that Roki felt at peace. It was as if there was an unwavering tranquility in her soul, as though a quiet but powerful assurance that everything would turn out alright.

"Curse you all!" It shrieked as they pushed, and the blade went through.

As Roki Saarunga laid upon the grassy ground looking up into the endless sky, the only emotion left plaguing her was pain; Aching pain in her muscles, throbbing pain on her forehead, and a hollow pain in her heart. The battle was over, the deed done and a skewered snake laid testament to what had happened mere minutes ago.

Was this right? Was this … enough?

_"We do not want to see you ever again"_

Although she might have banished this hateful entity, it came at a time too late. There was no way Karu will ever want to see her again. Even if he did, she could not possibly find it within herself face him and Rikka after what she had tried to do.

Roki was too tired to think. All she wanted at that moment of time was to sleep and stay in her mindscape forever. The act of going back to reality had become too painful for her to bear and there was nothing there she could go back for. All that awaits her back there was a lonely world of nothing.

Looking back now, her life had indeed been pathetic.

Roki's hand moved to wipe fresh tears from her face, only to come into contact with another pair of warm hands. She blinked and a kind smile came into her vision.

"Shush, dear." The motherly figure cooed. "It is alright now. If you feel exhausted, then sleep. We will take care of things for you."

"Really?" She asked, feeling very much like a young child.

The motherly figure nodded.

"You only have to call our name." The last of the trio, the flirtatious one, softly encouraged. "Come, you know it deep down inside."

"Azamuku (Mislead)," Roki murmured.

"Eva Santsukao."

* * *

"Thank you for coming to visit him every year, Saarunga-san." Rikka said with a tired smile. "Even with your work, you still made time."

"It is not a problem, Ginmaki-san." The peach-haired girl replied with a light hearted wave of her hand. "I am after all a friend of his. I am sure he appreciates it."

"Such a beautiful lady like you visiting him, of course he appreciates it." Rikka Ginmaki Karende chuckled, prompting Roki to do the same.

"He always did have a soft spot for females." The noble's face was filled with tender nostalgia for the slightest moment before she came back from her reminiscence.

"It is time for me to go back."

Roki nodded at Rikka's announcement, folding her arms under her ample assets. "Don't mind me. Just do what you need to."

"You know what Saarunga-san?" Rikka fished something out from her sleeves and pushed it into Roki's hand, which the Trickster immediately recognized from all those years ago. It was a silver butterfly knife, one that shimmered with a beautiful glow under the setting sun and stylishly carved with the initials of R.G.M.

"I am giving it to you."

Roki was both horrified and surprised at the same time. "But you don't even know me…"

"I have no use for it anymore. Maybe you can find a use for it." There was a tone of finality in her words as Rikka bowed and turned to leave. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye." Roki politely bowed back. "And thank you."

When the noble girl was well out of sight, the Trickster turned her gaze back to the gravestone of one Karu Karende and plopped herself down right in front of it.

"So, how have you been doing?"

She fondly caressed the butterfly knife in her hand as she too went hurtling back into the past.

"Baka."

**Live a Lie: End**


	2. Roki Saarunga Character Profile

Name: Roki Saarunga

Nickname: The Trickster

Age (Appearance/Actual): ? / 250

Birth Date: 16th May

Gender: Female

Non-Zanpakutō Weapon(s):

**Reginsmal**

Roki has a butterfly knife made of pure soul silver hidden somewhere on her body that she affectionately named Reginsmal. On the blade itself, the name "Reginsmal" is also carved on it in ancient Norse. Roki is able to go from having nothing in her hands one moment to swinging it around the next when she has nothing to do as a form of self-amusement, performing tricks that make on-lookers go "That should have cut off her arm already" when they finally finish wondering just where on earth she had concealed the blade. Her shoes, her sleeves, her back, her shinigami kilt, one is never sure where Roki can pull the knife out from, adding to the Trickster's unpredictability.

Sharp and deadly, it is a weapon that could be infused with reiatsu without losing its structural integrity and could potentially pierce through spiritual material like butter. However, its short range makes it horrible for offense and Roki mostly only use it as a defensive option in face of an attack. She is not adverse to throwing it at the enemy's head though.

Personality:

Roki is a trickster through and through, who delights herself in trolling others in all manners of things regardless how meaningless or meaningful they might be towards her own purpose. She is able to manipulate the people around her with words and seemingly harmless actions and other various means. Cunning, deceptive and enigmatic, nobody can really be sure they knew what she was thinking exactly in that particular point of time nor what she is planning for the future.

However even though she might mislead and manipulate, most of the time she is not maliciously evil (though she could if she wants to kukukukuku). Her tricks are usually made to generate fun and laughter in the boring vestiges of Soul Society such as planning to steal that tasty cake over there, or to simply give the stoic Zeraphin Apollo Rotbaron a migraine. There are times when Roki is serious but more often than not she encourages the notion that she is planning something dastardly when there is absolutely nothing at all, just to mind-screw those who would burn their brain cells in trying to figure her out.

Roki is also filled with a sense of humour, both light and dark and otherwise. She would try to make a joke out of almost every situation, almost being the word here. Intelligent and quick-witted, the gift that allowed her such fluency and eloquence in her mind-games also allowed her to be a master strategist. She is however not able to think that quickly on her feet in emergency situations, since she had not much time in planning and thinking out all possible situations and routes before being thrust into the fray.

When caught, first: Deny all Involvement. If that fails: Shift the Blame away. When that is no longer possible: Face the music and do whatever necessary to live past that. Let it be known that Roki Saarunga does not shy away from the consequences if there is no helping it. She just have to try harder to not get caught next time. This also translate to battle situations. Roki will try not to fight unless there is no way out and when she does, she leaves no advantages unturned.

Physical Appearance:

This is where it becomes interesting, for this is the main reason why Roki is known as the Trickster. After her namesake, Loki the Shape-shifter, Roki has three forms she usually appear in that she can interchange at will, all of them are females of course.

The above "form" is Roki's default appearance and is also her most used appearance among soul society to the point that many believe that it is her true appearance which is of course, still up for debate. As a child, she find that she is able to escape notice due to her shorter height and more inconspicuous form, and is hence vital to her "missions" that require utmost subtlety. Also, a child is more often than not easier to plead her case or request with, using tactics such as the legendary "Puppy-dog Eyes" or the "Innocent Sleeve Tug" or even the both of them together at once to devastating effect. Of the three, she represents the Child.

In this appearance, Roki is the epitome of calm of maternal feelings. Abandoning the infamous Puppy-dog eyes and Sleeve tug, she instead uses her unwavering and motherly presence to "advice" people into doing things. Being a quiet beauty also added points, and many a shinigami man in Seireitei are head over heels in love with her (in this form that is). Of the three, this appearance represents the Mother.

The third and final appearance of Roki, she is now a girl who turn heads wherever she goes. Blessed with ample assets and a fiery head of beautiful long hair, she has no doubts of her looks and the attention it garners. Instead of quiet conviction or an innocent child's request, she persuades people via her looks and figure. People who are quick to assume she is a blonde (peach blonde) without brains would be brutally reminded that this is still Roki Saarunga underneath. Of the three forms, this represents the Seductress.

**Zanpakuto**

Name: Eva Santsukao (The Three Faces of Eve)

*Unsealed form:

In Eva Santsukao's unsealed form, it is an ordinary nodaichi. Or is it? If one were to observe carefully, the zanpakuto itself could be split into three different blades, one wakizashi, one katana and the remaining the original nodaichi now with a hollow blade. This allows Roki to use different forms of combat styles that only serve to reinforce her erratic self and unpredictable way of fighting.

This base state also has a permenant passive effect of which allows Roki to transform into her three different selves in an illusion that could not be broken unless Roki decides herself to show whoever her true form. This unbreakable illusion is only applicable for her appearance, not her abilities.

Zanpakuto Spirit:

[/color]An innocent wide-eyed child, a gentle and caring maternal figure and a flamboyantly feisty lady. The three of them whose form she takes is the council in Roki's mindscape. In a way, they are representatives of Roki's inner mind, each governing one aspect of her Freudian psyche. The Child represents the[color=indigo] [color=violet]Ego[/color][/color], the part of herself which follows cold rational logic. The Seductress represents the [color=violet]Id[/color], the portion of her soul that acts on emotive priorities. The Mother finally is the [color=violet]Superego[/color], the super-rational part which seeks to reconcile and mediate between both conflicting ideals to the best benefit that compromising can bring.

Inner World:

A grass plain as far as it is wide, the Tree of Life, Yggdrassil sat rooted in its center of which the three aspects of the zanpakuto spirit sat around underneath it's shelter-providing canopy. An aged boulder stands nearby, once home to a malicious being that plagued the spirits.

Shikai:

Azamuku (Mislead), Eva Santsukao!

In Shikai form, the nodaichi dislodges itself into its components, of which will then glow faintly in their distinct colours. Red for the Wakizashi, yellow for the Nodaichi and peach for the Katana. In shikai, Roki is granted three basic moves of which are all illusions. Since they are illusions, they can be dispelled and countered with sufficient strength of mind. The illusions also affect an area instead of merely a single person and work similar to Imperio from the Harry Potter franchise by incepting an "idea" into their minds. Only one illusion can be active at any one time.

The Child

Type: Passive

When used, the target(s) is instilled with an aversion to harming or touching Roki. This however, is not able to overwrite base personality and instincts and if the target hates children to the point of death (or is a pedophile D:), it might not have much effect on the person.

The Mother

Type: Passive

When used, the target(s) is compelled to submit to Roki, submit being to let her attack them without qualms or to surrender and pledge themselves to her cause. This is the only illusion that works on all types of people, unless one is cold blooded to the point that familial ties are just things to shit on.

The Seductress

Type: Passive

When used, the target(s) is filled with a sudden attraction to Roki and feels the notion to obey Roki's will. This however does not work on females as well as males, unless they are lesbians. It will also not work as well on gays.

Bankai:

Koibito ni sute rareta on'na hodo osoroshī mono wanai, dainashi ni sa seru!

(Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, bring to ruin!)

Eva Santsukao!

All shikai Abilities are retained.

The Form

Type: Passive

What had been Roki only a moment before is replaced by three Rokis, all of different form. To be more precise, Roki summons up an additional two more presences besides the one appearance she is currently using (Eg, if she is in Child form, it would bring out the Mother and the Seductress, all of which can inflict damage and affect surroundings as the real Roki would. Also, the real Roki herself is able to switch between forms causing the form she is replacing to take her old one.

All of the forms can be hurt and may be destroyed but only by hurting the real Roki would inflict any damage on her.

Note: This is _not_ an illusion.

2nd Form, the Spirit

Type: Active

When in this burst mode, the forms that Roki summons are able to utilize skills they specialize in; Child – Shunpo/Hakuda, Mother- Kido, Seductress – Zanjutsu and perform them to their very best. All attacks and moves done in their specialization will be conducted flawlessly and with massive power that Roki would normally be unable to achieve. However, what they can do are limited to what Roki knows, but even something she only have a vague grasp on before can be brought to its fullest potential in this mode.

This mode is highly draining and cannot be sustained indefinitely.


End file.
